Hemp-Derived CBD Happy Endings Forthcoming

We have worked our asses off doing due diligence, because we know that you don’t want to use some janky-ass snake oil that others are slinging.  The ingredients in our hemp-derived CBD-infused products are sourced from the largest grower, manufacturer, and distributor of hemp-derived phytocannabinoids right here in the good ol’ U-S-of-A.

We’re just a few weeks away from slinging our wares, however, if you’d like to be notified when it’s time to get your CBD on, simply tell us what products you’d most like to see and sign up for our mailing list.

As a thank you for being one of the first, and therefore most important people to join our list, we’ll send you a promo code worth a whole 10% off your first purchase. We sh!t you not.

Have you used CBD?

YesNoWhat the f*ck is CBD?

Which CBD products would most interest you?

TincturesSalvesSoftgelsGummiesVape PensPet ProductsEvery Damn Thing!


*Yeah, it’s required, but we promise to keep your info to ourselves where we will care for it like a new puppy… as long as that puppy doesn’t chew the couch pillows and piss all over our new hardwood floors.

Starting Lineup

Happy Ending CBD Salves

Our flagship product. You’ll look forward to rubbing one out with our salve the next time that aching feeling arises. Made with broad spectrum, hemp-derived CBD oil, beeswax, Organic Lavender Essential Oil and Organic Eucalyptus Essential Oil. This effing combo won’t have you smelling like you’ve been hotboxing in the back of the school parking lot.

Tasty Little F*ckers Gummies

These little f*ckers are damn tasty! They’re similar to convenient store gummies only instead of rotting your teeth, they pack a powerful punch of 20mg of hemp-derived CBD each. After you try them, you’ll wanna reach-around for more.

CBDeez Nuts Softgels

Don’t care for the taste of a tincture, then how about our softgels? Our softgels use the same high quality, hemp-derived CBD oil with a dash of MCT contained nicely within a quick dissolving gelatin shell. They’ll slide right down!

This Sh!t is Legit

Like we said above, we have worked our asses off doing due diligence and research to be sure we bring you the best product possible.

Not only is this stuff certified organic, but we also provide lab results with every order. That way you know that every effing ingredient used is meticulously sourced and lab tested. How’s that for legit?

Got Questions? We Got Answers.

What exactly is hemp-derived CBD oil?

Let us be super effing clear, our hemp-derived CBD oil has NO THC. 

THC is federally illegal, and we’re not messing with that sh!t. You will be able to see the lab results that come with your order, if you don’t believe us.

Hemp-derived CBD is a natural oil which is extracted from the flowers and leaves of the cannabis plant. Depending on the formulation of a product, it may contain other beneficial components such as omega fatty acids, amino acids, vitamins and minerals.

You still have questions?  We got answers. Toss your question in space below, and we will drop some knowledge on your ass.